I was laying in bed last night, just thinking. I was thinking of things to pray for and thought to pray something about my husband. I wanted him to do something the way I would do it. And it reminded me of a lesson I learned not that long ago about being careful how I pray.
I am going to share a personal story about this. Last year I had that baby itch. You know, when you just want a baby so bad it's hard to think of anything else. The only problem was, God has decided I can't have any more babies. So I started looking at the local adoption websites and completely fell in love with a brother/sister pair.
They weren't babies, but the girl was only 4 (about the age our little Nathan would have been, had he lived) and so cute and the boy was right in between our 2 youngest. They both had blond hair and blue eyes. I wanted to run and tell Larry about it right away, but I know him and what his reaction would be. So, I decided to pray for 1 month. Pray that God would soften Larry's heart regarding adoption and that he would at least consider it.
I finally got the courage to bring up the subject and the answer was a big NO!
I won't lie, I was completely heart broken. It was as if I lost 2 children. I was very sad, but I kept praying about it.
I was praying that God would change Larry's mind. That he would see it my way. And you know, all that the praying did was keep the bad feelings alive in my heart and mind. Really, in a way, I was saying Larry doesn't know how to lead our family and he should see that I'm right. I was creating division.
The way I should have been praying was that God's will would be done. Which is how I eventually left it after I realized the negative feelings I was harbouring in my heart towards my husband.
And now, instead of praying that Larry would do something the way I want him to do it, I should remember to pray that God would help Larry do something the way God would have him do it. Then I know it's done the right!
I don't really know why we couldn't adopt those children, but God knows. I can find peace in knowing that God knows EXACTLY what's best for us. And let me tell you, I sure am savouring every moment with the 3 beautiful children God has blessed us with.
New King James Version (NKJV)
I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with long suffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling;
This post is linked up to; Hope in Every Season