I was laying in bed last night, just thinking. I was thinking of things to pray for and thought to pray something about my husband. I wanted him to do something the way I would do it. And it reminded me of a lesson I learned not that long ago about being careful how I pray.
I am going to share a personal story about this. Last year I had that baby itch. You know, when you just want a baby so bad it's hard to think of anything else. The only problem was, God has decided I can't have any more babies. So I started looking at the local adoption websites and completely fell in love with a brother/sister pair.
They weren't babies, but the girl was only 4 (about the age our little Nathan would have been, had he lived) and so cute and the boy was right in between our 2 youngest. They both had blond hair and blue eyes. I wanted to run and tell Larry about it right away, but I know him and what his reaction would be. So, I decided to pray for 1 month. Pray that God would soften Larry's heart regarding adoption and that he would at least consider it.
I finally got the courage to bring up the subject and the answer was a big NO!
I won't lie, I was completely heart broken. It was as if I lost 2 children. I was very sad, but I kept praying about it.
I was praying that God would change Larry's mind. That he would see it my way. And you know, all that the praying did was keep the bad feelings alive in my heart and mind. Really, in a way, I was saying Larry doesn't know how to lead our family and he should see that I'm right. I was creating division.
The way I should have been praying was that God's will would be done. Which is how I eventually left it after I realized the negative feelings I was harbouring in my heart towards my husband.
And now, instead of praying that Larry would do something the way I want him to do it, I should remember to pray that God would help Larry do something the way God would have him do it. Then I know it's done the right!
I don't really know why we couldn't adopt those children, but God knows. I can find peace in knowing that God knows EXACTLY what's best for us. And let me tell you, I sure am savouring every moment with the 3 beautiful children God has blessed us with.
Ephesians 4:1-4
New King James Version (NKJV)
I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with long suffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling;
This post is linked up to; Hope in Every Season
What a great reminder this was for me. Thanks for sharing such a personal post. To be honest, I have really been struggling lately, and I have been praying for exactly what I want. To be able to move back to my home full time and live in one place, because I'm tired! I'm having a hard time letting it go and this was a good reminder to me, that it's not my will, but God's and maybe I too and praying wrong and causing division in my own heart. Again, thanks for sharing such a personal post!
ReplyDeleteThank you Shannon. You have definately been in my prayers because I know it must be hard on you. But you are doing a great job and you are such an encouragement to me!
DeleteGod bless you.
I need prayer to get back on my knees and pray. I am so angry lately. My hubby is a fish/crab nut. but he hates to clean up our carport and help keep the mess and smell down. It smelt so bad today( he is off fishing for 3 days) the boat, I grabbed carpet cleaner and went inside the boat. I thought I was going to loose my stomach. Long story short he is using the port hole where the life jackets go to throw his fish, crab etc. Well I got on my knees and lost it. Under the carpet was a a rotting crab that has been there for 2 months. Please pray I can survive the fishing season. Why do I not go and just hang out? Well he gets so involved and has to talk to all the people fishing I become invisible and he goes out very early and comes back late. I get sea sick and very tired after 2 hrs. on a boat and he stays out 8 hrs plus. Thank you
ReplyDeleteWow Linda, it sounds like you're having a struggle! But I will pray that God will give you grace and strength to get through. And that God will give you peace of spirit instead of anger. Maybe while you're cleaning, you could sing a praise song and put your focus on God rather than the mess. Something else I should have added to my post was, when I turned my prayers around to praying that I would be the wife God wants me to be for my husband, intead of praying my husband would change in some way, I would see changes for the better in our relationship!
DeleteJust try to focus on God's blessing and have a greatful heart.
I hope at least you enjoy eating fish and crab. I grew up on the Pacifc Ocean and totally miss fish and crab:(
Hi Chris
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and following. I enjoyed looking at your blog too!